Coherency Through the TV Fuzz?

I'll admit it. This has been one very trying semester for me. While I'm glad to have finally gotten the hang of the whole grad school plus grad assistantship thing, my body's been doing its utmost to try to trip me up and make a fool of me all semester. As many of you know, my migraines really skyrocketed this semester, and for the first two months or so, I spent most of my waking hours squinting at the computer screen and wincing at every loud noise. Needless to say, the GA office was hardly my favorite place to hang out. Ha. Anyway, around midterm, I finally got started on a new medication that, for the first time ever, actually helped. Good news, right?

Well, not really.

You see, I have naturally low blood pressure, hence my eternally low energy levels. Unfortunately, the medication I'm on is also prescribed for hypertension--the exact opposite of my problem. Wednesday, I had my blood pressure tested in the dentist's office (I know--but it's really not that weird--they screen for everything there), and we all did a double-take.

85/50... the second time? 84/45. My heart rate was around 56. Eep. My systolic pressure was at least 20 points lower than normal for even me.

And tonight, after getting out of the bath, I nearly threw up and passed out... my blood pressure had dropped that low, and I really wasn't overheated.

What all this means (besides the fact that I feel like crap) is that it's seriously affecting my ability to focus and get things done. Basically, I have to choose between migraines and dizziness... both of which make grading papers nearly impossible half the time. I'm going to set up an appointment with the doc this week to try out a different medication, but it seems like I spend all my time adjusting to symptoms and side effects to medications meant to help me.

What is one to do? I have students waiting to get drafts back, and my eyes will barely focus, while my brain sounds like TV snow. I mean, I have every intention of prying my eyes open tonight and tomorrow, to get everything finished, but I know I'm not going to be able to give these papers the consideration they deserve or that I want to give them. I'm not the only one getting gypped here... my students are getting a raw deal, because I just can't think clearly.

This is a bit of a rant, I'll be honest. However, it does affect my attitude toward my classes these days. I love teaching--I really do. I am really passionate about what I do. But when I feel like this, I barely have the heart to even show up.

Anyway, I just wanted to give an explanation for my recent absentmindedness (more so than normal, I mean).